Destiny Undone
by Alison Burns
Summary: When Merlin dies and Arthur is left broken the Cailleach intervenes. What price is Arthur willing to pay to bring Merlin back? Does he realize his decisions could tear Albion and their destiny apart? Nothing will ever be the same.
1. Destiny Falls

Chapter 1 – Destiny Falls

_**Hey guys! This story came to me in a burst of genius just as I was falling asleep a couple of nights ago. Originally this first chapter was going to be a one-shot but it has now become so much more than that. I hope you like it, please be kind as it is my first Merlin fanfiction but don't hesitate to criticize, just not flaming please =P. I'm going to rate this teen for a death scene, general angst, and really not knowing what in the world is to come (also maybe the occasional bit of swearing, sorry I'll try not to but it might slip out). If anyone thinks that should change at any point let me know but I think it should be okay.**_

_**I always forget this with all my stories, but since I'm turning over a new, responsible(**_**ish)**_**, leaf when it comes to my fanfiction I guess it needs to be said: Merlin does not belong to me *cries* but if anyone knows where I can send Colin Morgan and Bradley James a massive virtual hug and tell them they're the most amazing people ever much obliged =P. **_

_**Oh one more thing, you'll get a quote at the beginning and end of each chapter because they're my little indulgence and I love them sorry if they're a bother. Ooooh, here comes the first one now.**_

_Watch your thoughts, for they become words._

_Watch your words, for they become actions._

_Watch your actions, for they become habits._

_Watch your habits, for they become character._

_Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. – Author unknown_

Merlin was, of course, watching Arthur's backside. What else would he be doing? His eyes flashed gold and Arthur was saved from one of Morgana's swordsmen sneaking up behind him. He touched his head feeling the pain build. This wasn't right; it wasn't supposed to be like this.

His magic has never caused him pain before. He added some extra strength to Arthur's block so he was able to thrust his opponent off and paid dearly, the piercing pain in his skull becoming nearly unbearable. Still he stayed focused, watching Arthur's enemies. It only took one second, one mistake. He could heal Arthur but he doubted he could bring him back from the dead.

So focused was he on his friend that he never saw her coming. Never saw Morgana sneak up from behind and place a delicate finger on each of his temples. Merlin's vision rolled and he grabbed for her but it was too late. Everything went black and he fell to the ground.

XXXMERLINXXX

Merlin's eyes fluttered open. Arthur's face hovered above him, and the expression of relief would have been prime prat mocking material if the situation hadn't been so dire.

"Morgana!"

He scrambled to sit upright but spots danced in his eyes and he felt Arthur's hands pushing him back down.

"Calm, Merlin, she's not here. Not right now." Arthur helped him sit up more slowly and this time his vision stayed clear. He looked to his king who was in turn staring back at him.

"How did she manage it?"

"Manage what Merlin?"

"How did she get us here? Last thing I remember you were fighting and then it all goes dark." Arthur's expression turned grim. He didn't answer, just shrugged.

"Ooooh, so you choose NOW to keep that big mouth shut?" Merlin's face turned dark. "Arthur what did you do?" Arthur tried out his most mollified look.

"Why do you assume that _I _did anything? Don't you have any faith in my incredible good sense and ability to avoid danger?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow. "All I have faith in is your ability to get yourself _into _trouble not out of it." Arthur threw his hands up.

"You're impossible."

"Arthur…"

"Fine! She came to me, alright? She was carrying you and she said she'd kill you unless I came." He sighed. "That's how she got us here, alright? Are you happy now?" Merlin stared at him incredulously.

"No, no I'm not _happy._ What the hell were you thinking?" Arthur looked a little taken aback.

"I was _thinking_ that good servants are very hard to come by." His attempt to lighten thing up only made them worse. Merlin felt anger, molten and hot, bubbling inside him.

"And were you _thinking_ about Gwen, or that the knights need you there to lead them? Did you even consider that Camelot, that all of us, are fighting for nothing if you die?" He turned his eyes skyward to the cave ceiling cursing the gods that had given him his destiny. "Couldn't have been something simple like pick flowers or something?" His voice grew mocking. "Keep Arthur safe until he can unite Albion Merlin, protect him from Morgana Merlin. Can't bloody protect him from himself though can I?" Arthur looked at him like he'd grown an extra head.

"Merlin, are you quite alright?"

"Oh yes sire. Morgana will soon return and probably kill both of us. Camelot will be lost, and It'll all be because you decided to try and save the life of your servant. I'm just wonderful." His voice dripped sarcasm. Arthur protested.

"Well what did you want me to do?" Merlin flapped his hands in the air.

"Oh I don't know, let's see…" He snapped his fingers and his voice went cold. "Let her kill me. Let her torture me or rip my body apart I don't care take your pick just so long as you kept yourself safe!" Arthur's eyes softened.

"You know I couldn't do that. Merlin you're the most incompetent servant I've ever known but you're more than that. You're lazy, rude, slow, annoying, you give advice when it's not wanted and you're late so often I spend half my mornings waking _you _up. You seem to spend most of your time in the tavern," He let his shoulders fall. "And you've been one hell of a friend." The very Arthur speech threw buckets of water on his anger and snuffed it out. Merlin shook his head.

"God, you're such a clotpole."

The magic that Merlin had noticed sealing the mouth of the cave flickered and Morgana's appeared, wearing an emerald dress and her evilest smile. Both men sprang to their feet but Morgana just tutted like she hadn't a care in the world.

"Hello brother." She inclined her head, turned toward Merlin and hesitated for half a moment then inclined it again. "Emrys." Merlin flinched. How did she know? Who could have told her?"

Arthur studied him out of the corner of his eye, attention still on Morgana.

"Merlin? Why is she calling you Emrys?" Morgana laughed.

"I figured you hadn't come clean yet." She addressed Arthur but she kept her eyes on Merlin. "Since you're going to die, I figure you deserve to know the truth first." She shot Merlin a look. "Would you like to tell him or should I?"

Merlin shook his head. "Let him go. This fight is between you and I, Morgana, I think you know that." He paused. "If you know who I am, then you realise I'm destined to destroy you." He stepped forward trying to appear the picture of confidence. He could see the nervousness in her eyes and it gave him hope. "You can change that. It doesn't have to be this way. Let Arthur go and I'll give myself over to you. No tricks, nothing. I swear it on the old religion." He drew in a breath. "I can't kill you if I'm dead."

Arthur took a predictable step forward. "Morgana he's just a servant." He took another step and stopped, smashing into an invisible wall. Morgana smirked as Arthur pounded on it. "What could he possibly mean to you let him go!" Morgana turned back to Merlin.

"Oh my poor naïve Arthur, Merlin is so much more than you give him credit for, aren't you Merlin? So much loyalty. Always there, always risking your life. For whom? A man who would order you dead if he knew the truth. I don't understand." Merlin felt a profound sadness course through him. His worst fear was that Arthur would hate him when he found out the truth. After everything they'd been through together...He let a laugh escape his lips but even to his own ears it sounded wrong. Too cold. "Of course you don't understand Morgana, because you don't know what it means to be loyal to a friend. To risk everything time and time again for them because that's what they're worth." He carefully kept his eyes from meeting Arthur's.

Morgana's, meanwhile, filled with barely concealed rage. "Let's test that loyalty then, shall we?" She snapped her fingers.

She struck.

Not at him, at Arthur. The dagger flew through the air and he realized with a pang that he was too far away, he'd never get himself in front of it.

There was only one way.

Merlin's eyes flashed gold. The dagger stopped in mid air and reversed towards Morgana who held up a hand. It stopped in midair then clattered to the floor. With a shout he sent Morgana crashing into the wall of the cave breaking the enchantment on Arthur who seemed to be frozen anyway simply out of shock. He ran to him.

Are you alright?" He put a hand on Arthur's shoulder but the king shook it off and when he turned to face Merlin his blue eyes were filled with anger, hurt, and betrayal. Worst of all, though, was the fear he saw there.

Merlin's stomach clenched. Arthur leapt backwards away from him. "You." He pointed a shaking finger at him. "You're a sorcerer?"

"Warlock, born with it." Merlin muttered under his breath but Arthur ignored him. Understanding flashed in his eyes.

"You just like her, you're all alike. I trusted you! I thought you were my friend. I bet you planned this from the start. Thought you'd get a good laugh in as you plotted together. You knew I'd come if I thought you were in danger."

"Arthur it's not like that!" He tried to convey the urgency of what was happening through his voice. They didn't have time for this; Morgana was already struggling to her feet. He had to finish her. "If I wanted you dead wouldn't I have just let that dagger hit you? Wouldn't I have had plenty of opportunities as your servant? I only ever tried to protect you!"

"You lied to me!" Arthur shouted back.

Morgana started to clap slowly. "And so the hypocrisy begins. See what they think of us? Merlin things will never change while he's alive."

"You're wrong." Merlin placed himself squarely between Arthur and Morgana. "I said I'd give myself to you now just let him go!" Arthur pushed past him, expression hard.

"I don't need your help." He launched himself at Morgana who sent him crashing backwards. Merlin turned, using his magic to soften Arthur's fall.

It was all the distraction Morgana needed. Arthur screamed his name but Merlin wasn't quick enough. He felt pain engulf him as a ball of energy barrelled into his side and he screamed falling to his knees as the darkness took him.

"Merlin." Arthur was calling him, shaking him. He fought hard for consciousness as his vision danced with black spots and Morgana came closer. He tried to move but he couldn't, watching in horror as Morgana stepped over him and pulled out a dagger. It was the same one Arthur had given her for her birthday all that time ago.

Arthur was done. He no longer had his sword and Merlin was right there destined, it appeared, to be absolutely useless when his king and friend needed him most.

"So, Arthur Pendragon, are you ready to die?" Arthur, noble to the last, did not cower. Still on his knees Merlin watched through blurred vision as he held his head high.

"I'm not afraid of you." Morgana let out a laugh.

"Never were the brightest." Her voice wasn't mocking anymore. It sounded sad, like the old Morgana was shining through. "It's time to join Merlin now."

Merlin felt panic spiral through him bringing a moment of clarity to his pain filled mind. Arthur couldn't join him, not where he was going.

His fingers twitched. He couldn't speak but he wasn't just a sorcerer, he was a warlock.

He and magic had always been on better terms than that.

The ball of fire grew in his hand.

"Goodbye brother." Morgana raised the dagger. Before she could bring it down Merlin unleashed the fireball, putting everything he still had into it.

Morgana burned, screaming, from the inside out. Merlin smiled as he felt death pull at him and closed his eyes.

Arthur was safe, Morgana was gone. Merlin had fulfilled his destiny. Arthur hated him but he could live…er…die…with that as long as the prat was alive. He was so tired and finally, finally, he could just rest. He embraced what was coming and let it envelop him. So comfortable, so soft, like sleeping…

"Merlin."

God damn it he knew that voice. Arthur couldn't let him sleep in just this once?

"Merlin!"

No, apparently not. He probably needed some armour polished or his room cleaned. There was no one messier in all of Albion. Gods, he couldn't remember ever feeling this tired.

"Merlin I hereby order you not to die on me! You wouldn't disobey a direct order would you?"

The darkness faded just a little, he could feel consciousness tugging at him.

What in the name of Camelot was Arthur talking about? Merlin wasn't dying, he was sleeping. And he bloody well didn't get enough of it!

"Merlin please." There was an edge of hysteria to it.

Alright, _alright_!

He let the voice pull him upward back into the world of pain and destinies and hardship as everything came rushing back.

The first thing he was aware of was that someone was holding him. The second was that that person was speaking to him, and that they were crying.

Crying?

"Merlin I'm sorry."

Sorry? That was it, he'd definitely woken up in some alternate universe. His friend was struggling to breathe through his sobs and Merlin wanted to tell him not to be upset but he still couldn't make his voice work. "Sorry that I didn't see, sorry for never listening. I'm sorry for acting like a clotpole and a dollophead." His voice cracked.

"And a prat." Merlin's retort was barely audible. Arthur stopped.

"Merlin?" Merlin got his eyes open so he could look at him because if they were going to do this then they were going to do it properly and damn it Arthur did always seem to get what he wanted didn't he?

"You once told me no man was worth your tears." He smiled that classic, goofy Merlin smile but it took effort. "I guess that makes you a clotpole, a dollophead, and hypocrite your pratliness." Arthur's breath hitched in a laugh that turned into a cry of joy as he squeezed Merlin tight in a rare display of affection.

"Merlin you're okay!" Merlin fixed him with piercing eyes.

"Okay is a relative term. Why do you care?" He mumbled the words a little, already fighting not to be pulled back under. Arthur's eyebrows arched in confusion.

"Because sorcerer or not you're my friend."

"I broke the law; I'm an enemy of Camelot." Arthur shook his head.

"You saved my life and I was wrong I hope you know that. I…I just wish you'd told me." Merlin's vision was going black around the edges and he could feel his strength slipping away but he didn't think he'd ever been happier. Arthur didn't hate him, Arthur understood. There was so little time and so much he wanted to say.

"Promise me you'll talk to Gaius, he'll explain everything." Arthur frowned.

"You can tell me yourself."

Merlin shook his head. The world darkened a little more. "Not this time. I've done all I can, now it's up to you to unite Albion. You're a great king Arthur, I know you can do it." Arthur pulled away from Merlin panic filling his face.

"I need to find Gaius; he'll be able to help you." He turned to go but Merlin held out a shaking hand.

"Please just stay." He knew enough from helping Gaius to realise his guardian would never make it in time, and he didn't want to die alone. Arthur shook his hand off.

"You're forgetting that I'm the one who gives the orders, and I'm ordering you to hold until I can bring help." He turned away.

"Arthur!" The king swivelled back around. "You're being a prat again." The words were laboured now as he fought against the darkness and the pain. "Please…don't give an order I can't follow."

Arthur looked at him, really looked, and the truth seemed to sink in then as he collapsed beside his friend. Merlin wanted to wipe away the tear sliding down his friend's cheek but his body didn't seem to want to respond at all to him now.

"Can't you use magic to heal yourself?" Merlin shook his head.

"This is magic, doesn't work that way." Defeat crossed Arthur's face.

"What am I going to do without you Merlin?" Merlin did his best to keep things light.

"I'm sure George would love–" a fit of coughing and pain spiralled through him and then the front of his neckerchief was stained red. Arthur bit his lip.

"It'll be alright Merlin." If Merlin could have rolled his eyes he would have.

"Never understood why." He wheezed in his lungs feeling impossible to fill. "You tell dying people that." He coughed again and more blood appeared. He closed his eyes and felt Arthur take his hand. "I'm not afraid, but I'm glad you're here with me." The darkness surrounding him was thicker now than it had been before. Less like sleep and more recognisable for what it really was.

This time, he wouldn't be coming back.

"G'bye Arthur." He wasn't sure if he'd said the words out loud but apparently he had.

"Goodbye Merlin." He was ready, he just wished he could take the pain in his friend's voice away. The darkness enveloped him completely cutting him off from Arthur.

It was time to see what came next.

_Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. - Winston Churchill _

_**I'd love to know what you think! Love it? Hate it? Continue or don't? (okay, I'll probably continue even if you tell me not to).**_

_**I am so excited to write this story! You have no idea what I have in store for you, stick with me!**_


	2. Destiny Burns

Chapter 2 - Destiny Burns

_**Hey so just so you know you guys are ALL AMAZING! I am so happy that you guys like this story and thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted. You guys are unbelievable.**_

_**I was planning on waiting a little longer with this but I want you to have it now. I'm not sure how I feel about it, it's a lot newer than my last chapter and hasn't been worked with as much but I feel like it shows Arthur's dissociation with the world around him pretty well…**_

_**I hope…**_

_**Okay well I'm just going to give it to you and stop blabbing.**_

_**Disclaimer: if I owned Merlin Bradley and Colin would be in trouble, they'd be playing Merlin and Arthur for the rest of eternity…**_

_We must embrace pain and burn it as the fuel for our journey. – Kenji Miyazawa_

Arthur watched in a numb sort of horror as Merlin took a last, shuttering breath in. Then time seemed to stop as his chest failed to rise again and he fell limp in Arthur's arms.

It was over, Merlin was…

Merlin was gone.

After all the close calls where they'd somehow scraped through, after all the name-calling and laughs and highly disrespectful, mocking bows…

Oh what he wouldn't give to have Merlin sit up and call him a prat, to tell him he wouldn't be rid of him that easily.

He closed his friend's eyes so that he might have been sleeping and the tears began to fall again. This was his fault. If he hadn't gotten angry at Merlin and rushed Morgana, if he hadn't distracted him, things might have ended very differently.

Merlin might still be alive.

He'd been so angry in that moment, when he'd thought his friend had betrayed him. Magic was evil, that's what he'd always been taught. Merlin had magic so that made him evil too, a traitor.

And then Morgana had hurt Merlin and all of that logic had fallen apart.

Merlin would never betray Arthur or Camelot. Merlin had risked everything for him time after time and now he was doing it again. Somewhere along the line his father had gotten things wrong.

Very wrong.

Merlin was still Merlin. Still a massive idiot who was much too loyal for his own good and, yes Arthur would admit it, the closest friend he'd ever had. That's what Merlin had been trying to say.

The tears fell harder. Why did he only ever understand when it was too late?

XXXARTHURXXX

Arthur wasn't sure how much time passed before someone found him, still clutching Merlin's cold body in his arms. He was aware that when they tried to take Merlin from him he snapped.

He would carry his friend; no one else would touch him. He could do that right at least.

Somehow he found himself on a horse and on the ride back to Camelot it registered that without Morgana leading them Camelot had easily thrown off their attackers. It felt like a hollow victory.

So he got to keep his crown, so what?

Getting back to Camelot was fuzzy. The only thing that mattered was the too light, too limp body on the front of his horse. When had Merlin gotten so thin? He should have noticed, should have made him get some rest and eat something.

Too late.

Gaius's cry as Arthur slipped them both off the horse brought everything into startling clarity. Or maybe that was the pain on the physician's face…

He finally relinquished Merlin to the man was like a father to him. Gaius's voice was ragged.

"Is he…"

"I'm sorry Gaius, there was nothing I could do." For a moment there was only silence, silence and crushing pain making it hard to breathe. Gaius bowed his head.

"Thank you, sire, for bringing by boy home to me." Gaius's hand shook as he gently pushed Merlin's mess of hair out of his face and kissed his brow. Arthur felt his heart break again.

He was not the only one who would miss Merlin. He was not the only one who had lost a friend. Merlin had meant something to so many people. He clasped the physician's shoulder.

"We will give him the honour, the goodbye, he deserves Gaius. I can promise you that." Unshed tears clouded the old man's eyes and he turned away from the king.

"Thank you Arthur, but that won't bring him back."

Always too late…

Arthur's reply was so soft, so quiet. "I know…"

He didn't sleep that night. Instead he threw himself headfirst into everything. He didn't want to have a moment to himself because if he wasn't doing something or yelling at somebody then he could think. Then he could remember the contented smile on his friend's face as Arthur held him and his life slipped away.

No, that was the last thing he wanted.

The pire where he would be burned was already standing ready in the courtyard, Arthur could see it from his window.

He had the feeling that view was ruined forever.

It was Gwen who came for him when it was time, Gwen who took his hand silently in her own and lead him through the corridors of the castle. It was Gwen who thumbed the tears away from his red eyes before they stepped out into the courtyard together, even as her own fell. The sun was just starting to come up bathing Camelot in light. It would be a beautiful day, which only made everything worse. It should have been raining, there should have been thunder and lightning.

In Arthur's opinion, even the weather should have been mourning.

There actually weren't that many of them there. Gaius, Elyan, Percival and Leon. The servants who had known him best were standing at the edges of the courtyard and a few from town as well. There probably would have been more, but they had their own to grieve. Last of all, a shaking Gwaine holding Merlin's body. He'd asked and Arthur hadn't had the heart to deny him. He looked like he was, for once, sober.

If Arthur had the choice, he wouldn't have been.

Then, though, he understood that Gwaine wanted to show his friend respect. He wouldn't disgrace his memory by being drunk when he said goodbye. As they came closer he realised that Gwaine's shakes were actually sobs as another, accompanied by a guttural howl, escaped his lips. Gaius put a hand on the knight's shoulder and Gwaine lifted the man who'd meant so much to all of them onto the wood. Gaius held the lit torch in his hand closer and it caught.

_Thank you Merlin, for saving my life. Thank you for everything._

Just like that, the last of his friend was gone.

The flames assaulting his eyes all blurring together and Arthur wasn't aware of the moment when his knees gave out. No one said anything and eventually he realised that was because every one of them was gone.

They'd left him to grieve.

Merlin wouldn't have left him, Merlin would have stayed right by the king's side where he belonged. The thought brought his own howl of grief to match Gwaine's and he suddenly had the most powerful urge to throw himself on that fire and set everything right. If Merlin couldn't stay with him any longer then he would go to him.

He launched himself at the flames only to be stopped just short by the hands of Leon and Gwaine.

He hadn't been as alone as he'd thought.

He tried to rip himself from them, threatening and twisting and punching and screaming until he collapsed into an entirely different set of arms that ended up being Gwen's and they both fell to the ground sobbing and clutching at each other while she screamed his name.

"Arthur, Arthur you can't leave me to!"

For the first time, he understood that it could be easier to die then to be left behind.

He held her tighter, and they stayed like that until the fire burned to nothing.

_Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we li_ve. – Norman Cousins

_**so…let me know. I'm still not 100% sure about this chapter so I'm counting on you guys to tell me. **_

_**Ps don't worry, the real story gets going soon XD. **_

_**I feel evil right now…**_


	3. Destiny's Secrets

Chapter 3 – Destiny's Secrets

_** Hey everyone! I wanted to say I love you all so much and could not have predicted the amazing response to this story that I have gotten! I'm so glad you love it! Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted etc. I have tried to reply to every review that had a reply link but if I somehow missed you I am incredibly sorry!**_

_** Because you're all so wonderful, here's another chapter for you all!**_

_** Disclaimer: I will own Merlin when hell freezes over…anyone have a massive thermostat I can turn way waaaaayyyy down?**_

_ Everyone is like a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. –Mark Twain_

That night Arthur let himself wander, giving himself over wherever his feet decided to go. He wasn't really conscious of where his feet were taking him until he found himself in front of Gaius's door. Without stopping to think he rapped on the sturdy, worn wood.

Gaius answered, and Arthur could feel the sorrow emanating off him. The old man's eyes were puffy and he seemed to have aged years in only 24 hours. He was still fully dressed and obviously hadn't been planning on sleep. Arthur wasn't sure it was possible to feel guiltier than he already did, but somehow he managed it.

Gaius's eyes widened as he took in the sight of the disheveled king.

"Come in sire. I was just making myself some tea." Gaius stepped back from the doorway but Arthur stayed where he was suddenly frozen. This place wasn't somewhere that should even exist without Merlin. It just didn't feel right. Especially the two chairs at the table, those were the worst of all.

One for Gaius, and one for Merlin.

The physician turned back around and shot him a sad, sympathetic smile that said he knew exactly what Arthur was thinking about when he looked at those chairs and put an arm around the young king guiding him over the threshold and half forcing him into one of them. Gaius sat down in the opposite the tea forgotten and Arthur leant forward elbows on the table his head in his hands. There was a moment of silence and then Arthur raised his head to see Gaius studying him with something closer to fatherly worry than Uther had ever managed. He hadn't meant to start with what he said next, and certainly not to shout it, it just came tumbling out.

"Why don't you hate me?"

Gaius raised an eyebrow looking old and so very tired. "Arthur I'm not sure I understand–"

"Merlin." The name hung in the air between them. Arthur fought to make his voice work struggling with the sudden despair that threatened to overwhelm him. "I distracted him, he died trying to save me." Arthur's breath caught. "Gaius, if I hadn't gotten angry when I found out he had magic he'd still be alive." He felt a tear cut its way down his cheek but he didn't try to wipe it away.

Gaius's face hardened. "You know then. Arthur, you must not blame yourself. There's more to this than you could possibly imagine." Arthur felt determination course through him.

"Before Merlin died he told me you would explain. Gaius I need to know that the man I thought I knew, the man I miss, really existed."

Gaius sighed. "Indeed. Merlin would have told the story better." The old man smiled nostalgically. "He always did have a flare for the theatrics." The smile faded and he rested his hands on the table between them. Arthur covered them with his own.

"Where would Merlin have started?" Gaius took a deep breath in. "Arthur you know the story Merlin told you. That whatever man could pull the sword from the stone was the true ruler of Camelot?" Arthur nodded. "You remember all the times he told you he believed in your destiny? Well somehow he always managed to leave out the part about the warlock Emrys who would help you get there."

"Merlin and I share-shared a destiny?" Share_d_. Past tense. God he still wasn't used to that. Breathe.

"The dragon liked to say that you were two sides of the same coin."

"The dragon? You mean the one I kill–" Arthur cut himself off seeing the look on Gaius's face.

"I never killed it, did i?" Gaius shook his head.

"Merlin sent it away." Arthur stared at him blankly.

"I thought Balinor was the last dragon lord."

"He was, until he died. The ability's passed from father to son."

"Balinor was his father?" Arthur thought back to that day, to the tears that Merlin had shed and what he'd said to his friend. Gaius nodded and for a moment he seemed as lost in the past as Arthur was. "Why didn't he tell me?" Gaius shook his head as if returning himself forcefully to the present and his expression darkened.

"You have to understand, there's a lot he never told you." Arthur suddenly felt lost. It was quickly becoming clear that he really hadn't known Merlin at all. It made him sad that his best friend in the world, the one r told everything too, had felt the need to keep so many secrets from him.

"Gaius, why?"

"Because he understood that your destiny was more important than anything. He couldn't risk telling you who he really was if it meant he might not be able to be at your side any longer. If it got in the way of protecting you." A moment of silence filled the space between them.

"He could have trusted me, I wouldn't have told anyone." The physician didn't answer. "Gaius, how many times did he save my life that I don't know about?" The man's eyes seemed to see right through him.

"I've lost count. Arthur you know how he was, you always came first." Arthur's hands balled into fists.

"Because I was his _destiny_?" He spat the last word.

"Because he cared about you."

"He shouldn't have had to do that Gaius. He shouldn't have had that forced on him." Arthur lowered his eyes to the floor, trying to ignore that his hands were shaking. Gaius gently brought his chin back up until their eyes met again.

"None of us are truly free to choose our own path, not even you." Gaius's voice was soft. "Merlin wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

Arthur slammed his fist down on the table. "How can you say that? So it was his _destiny_ to die?" Gaius raised his voice to match the king's.

"No it was his destiny to protect you no matter what it cost. Merlin knew what he was getting himself into, he knew the risks. He would have wanted you to move on Arthur, it's the only way you'll do everything you're meant to."

Arthur jumped up, his chair skidding backwards his eyes shut tight. Tension thrummed through his body but his voice when he spoke was only a whisper. "What if I can't do that? What if I can't just let him go and continue on like everything hasn't fallen to pieces?"

A stinging slap sent his head whipping to the side. Shock coursed through him. Gaius was on his feet now too. Gaius had slapped him.

"Then you will have failed, and every sacrifice Merlin made for you, everything he did will be for nothing." Gaius pointed a finger at him. "I promise on that day, Arthur Pendragon, hate will be too kind a word for what I feel toward you."

Arthur felt like he'd been slapped again but this time was far worse, penetrated so much deeper. Gaius turned, his back toward him. "Go." His voice was shaking.

"Gaius–" Arthur took a step forward. Gaius held up a hand.

"Please, sire, just leave." Arthur felt his chest tighten. As regent he could force his company on Gaius, order the physician to tell him more. But as he watched the shutter in his hunched shoulders he found he couldn't bring himself to be that cruel.

If Gaius wanted him to leave, then he would.

He swept out the door, closing it silently behind him. He never looked back.

If he had, he might have seen Gaius collapse into the chair that had always been Merlin's, his head In his hands as he sobbed.

If he had, he might not have been alone when Merlin's voice called to him from the edge of the forest.

_**Arthur help me. Arthur please I need you!**_

If he had, if he'd taken just that split moment, perhaps all that occurred next might not have come to pass.

_ To live in hearts we leave behind_

_ Is not to die. –Thomas Campbell_

_**Sorry to leave you all with such a cliffy! (muahaha). Don't worry, the next part should be out soon and that's when the fun really begins! Please review if you have a moment, I would love to know what you think and I knew the review button is every hungry XD. **_


	4. Destiny Intervenes

Chapter 4 – Destiny intervenes

_**First of all I just want to say how amazing you all are =). I'm so glad that you're enjoying – or even reading – this story it means so much. Sorry, again, if I somehow missed replying to anyone's review. Now this chapter took all week because I rewrote the majority of it about three times in separate chunks and then proceeded to change it again when I typed it up. I think I like it now and I'm hoping you will too. **_

_** I would say that "s-word" is about to go down but then I'd need to put 25c in my swear jar and I'm up to nearly 6 dollars in two days anyhow so…**_

_** So just stop talking and give you the chapter?**_

_** Yes, yes alright…**_

_**Disclaimer: I love this wonderful world with green skies and purple trees where I'm queen everything and I also own BBC/shine's Merlin…**_

_** One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go.**_

_If you knew that hope and despair were paths to the same destination, which would you choose? – Robert Brault_

Arthur's head whipped upward, his breath hitching in his throat.

No, no, no! Merlin was dead, he had to remember that or he would lose himself. This was all just a cruel joke his mind was playing with him.

"Arthur?" He squeezed his eyes shut tight against the torrent of pain and memories that voice brought. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. Merlin was not there right next to him whispering his name. Merlin was gone somewhere much too far away to ever speak with again. "Arthur why won't you look at me?" Merlin sounded so desperate, so hurt, that in that moment Arthur forgot.

Forgot that this was impossible, forgot that he should ignore whoever, whatever, was calling out to him.

His eyes shot open, just in time to see the back of a head, covered with raven hair, disappearing through the trees.

Arthur's chest tightened.

He didn't know how, this wasn't logical, but there he was. Arthur vaulted into the trees and ran after him. "Merlin." He was already gone, swallowed up by the night. "Merlin!" Arthur shouted, spinning in circle just inside the edge of the forest.

There! A flash of red and he was off. He couldn't lose him again.

XXXBROMANCEXXX

Arthur heaved in, struggling to breathe as Merlin lead him farther and farther from Camelot. For someone who never failed to scare all the game away for miles around whenever they went hunting he sure could be fast and silent when he wanted to be.

Which brought up another question. Why was Merlin running away from him? Why wasn't he stopping?

He watched Merlin's silhouette burst into a clearing in front of him. He expected him to keep going but he didn't. Instead the silhouette turned, a small sad smile on its face its head cocked to the side.

Arthur stopped, choking on air.

It was him, it was really him.

He let out a cry and ran forward closing the distance between them. "Merlin!" He threw his arms around his friend half amazed they didn't go right through. He was solid, he was really there. Arthur could feel the tears streaming down his face but as Merlin's arms finally tightened around him returning the hug he found he just couldn't bring himself to care.

Arthur had been wrenched in two and it was only now, with Merlin back, that he felt whole again. Like one half of his soul had been reunited with the other.

Maybe there was something to this coin analogy after all…

Arthur finally pulled back his hands clutching Merlin's shoulders because he was half afraid that if he let go his friend might disappear. "How…I…" He pushed the words out before he realised it didn't matter. His voice shook but he ignored it. "You prat." In a fit of inspiration Arthur cuffed him upside the head. It was so easy to fall into their old patterns, like it had been before. "I knew you wouldn't leave me." Merlin looked alarmed and in pain all at once.

"Arthur I'm so sorry."

The blonde shook his head, wanting to tell him how much of an idiot he was. "You should be, you truly do have no sense of self preservation." Arthur put an arm around his friend's shoulder. "I need to get you back to Camelot." He tried to walk but felt the warlock dig his heels in. Arthur turned and Merlin blinked, his eyes staying closed a moment longer than they needed to. Merlin's lips set themselves in a hard line and the colour drained from his face. "Oh, no Arthur you don't–" Merlin swallowed. "Arthur you watched me die, you all watched me burn. Did you really think it would be that easy?"

Arthur swayed from the nausea, pain and lack of sleep. He clutched Merlin's forearm nails digging in.

"For goodness sakes Merlin. Listen, if this is about the others I doubt they're going to mind that you used a bit of magic to save your own life. I'll grant you clemency myself!" That was the only way it could have happened, wasn't it? The only way that made sense. Merlin had done an enchantment, probably before he'd battled Morgana, that had kept him alive. Arthur pushed the memory of holding Merlin in that dank cave, of the fire consuming his body, as far away as he could.

He'd been so sure he was gone…

He tried to tug on the arm he'd latched onto but Merlin jerked out of his grasp.

"No." Merlin's voice was quiet. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere but having this conversation. "It's not about the magic–"

Arthur felt frustration course through him. "What then? Merlin do you have any idea what we've been through? Gwen hasn't stopped crying. The knights are a wreck. Gaius slapped me! They're all lost without you. They need you." Arthur took a deep breath in and stepped forward. "I need you. I can't do this on my own, not without you by my side."

Merlin looked like he'd been stung. "Arthur that's not true I know you can fulfill your destiny. People die every day; you have to let me go."

Arthur threw his hands up. "But you're not gone, you're right here!"

Merlin looked at him wistfully. "Not for long."

Arthur suddenly found he couldn't breathe. "What?" The word was whispered, so quiet that it was nearly lost in the brush and the wind and the readily approaching darkness.

Merlin slumped against the tree behind him his head in his hands. Arthur closed the distance between them and put a hand on his shoulder. There was a moment of silence and then Merlin looked up, his expression pleading, and spoke.

"I didn't want it to be this way. She brought me back, told me to bring you here I didn't have a choice." Merlin shuttered. "We're all under her command; we all have to do as she says." Merlin's expression turned from pleading to anguish. "I never wanted this to happen; I didn't want to hurt you again." Merlin's voice was a whisper tugging at Arthur's heart. "I begged her to leave you alone–"

"Merlin–"

"This isn't fair to you–"

"Merlin!" Arthur snapped. Merlin's eyes found his. "Who is this woman, what does she want?"

Merlin's voice cracked. "A deal. She wants to make a deal. The cailleach wants to make a deal." Arthur searched his mind. Why was that name familiar? The cailleach…it all clicked into place. Lancelot, the torn veil…

Oh…

"What kind of deal?" Merlin looked away from him. "Merlin." Arthur's voice was gentle but insistent. Merlin turned back to face him.

"Arthur you can't, promise me you won't." Arthur half growled which was, truth be told, a very Arthur thing to do.

"What deal Merlin?" He stared his friend down until Merlin broke tearing his eyes away from him.

"Me." Merlin's voice was bitter. "This." He gestured to himself. "Is all temporary. I can't stay on this side of the veil for long without upsetting the balance. A couple of hours, maybe less. She's got it in her head to bring me back for good."

Arthur was quite sure he'd misunderstood. Why did Merlin look like he was going to be sick when someone was offering him life, salvation? "Let her help then!" Merlin shot him a look.

"Everything comes at a price, Arthur." The blonde's brows knit together.

"Then I will pay it, gladly."

Merlin suddenly looked panicked and jumped to his feet. "Arthur you can't you don't understand. The old religion only works one way–a life for a life." Merlin paused. "I'm not going to save your all those times just to have you die for me."

Arthur felt his heart beat painfully in his chest. So there it was, that was what the cailleach wanted.

Merlin's expression hardened and he stepped past Arthur into the middle of the clearing.

"Stay away! He's not going to do it!" Arthur's head whipped up and there she was walking towards them as if she was the most ordinary old woman in the world.

She wasn't even _of _this world. He recognised her immediately. Her voice when she spoke was filled with power.

"That's a decision for Arthur and Arthur alone to make." Merlin threw his hands in the air.

"Why are you doing this?" His voice sounded close to shattering. "Why can't you just let things–" The cailleach held up a gnarled hand.

"Silence, Emrys. All will be revealed in time." Merlin looked frustrated but his words died on his lips. The cailleach beckoned. "Come to me." Merlin started forward and Arthur made to stop him but he shook his head.

"I have to do as she asks. Promise me you won't do anything stupid." Arthur felt strangely calm, serene, like he already knew what he had to do. He nodded his head and Merlin knelt before the keeper of the veil.

Arthur uncrossed his fingers from behind his back.

For a moment none of them moved, Arthur barely breathed. The cailleach was watching Merlin, studying him with a strange kind of fondness.

"Why are you so insistent Emrys?"

Arthur watched Merlin raise his head. He could only see the back but somehow he knew that his friend's eyes were blazing.

"It's not the way it was meant to be," Merlin said simply as the cailleach made a sound that on anyone else would have classified as impatience.

"I'm trying to help you." Her hand went to Merlin's shoulder and tightened. "It's time to go."

That, finally, broke through the haze that kept Arthur where he was. Merlin wasn't going anywhere! He rushed forward only to be stopped by a blinding light that forced him to cover his eyes. It only lasted half a moment but by the time he could see again Merlin was gone, vanished like he'd never even been there. The cailleach stood exactly where she'd been, not looking fazed in the least.

Arthur saw red.

"What have you done!" Arthur ran at her. She flicked her wrist and pain spiralled through him forcing him to his knees. He howled, feeling like he was being ripped to pieces. The cailleach advanced until she was standing over him. He tried to focus on her but it was nearly impossible through the pain and the burring vision.

"Will you yield?" Arthur groaned, clenching his teeth. Why did it feel like a baseball bat had just taken up residence inside his skull? "Do you not wish to help Emrys?" She paused. "He has done much for you." Arthur thrashed and this time couldn't help screaming. The baseball bat had been joined by a thousand white hot pokers being shoved through his body.

"Alright, alright!" All at once the pain stopped, leaving him lying on the ground gasping for air. "Where did you take him?" He all but choked the words out as he struggled to his knees and stopped unable to go any farther.

"He's gone back behind the veil, back to the nothingness, but you can change that." She found his eyes with her own and Arthur found he couldn't blink, couldn't look away.

"A life for a life, right?" The whole world felt too heavy on his chest, too much to continue to stay there and still allow him to breathe. How was he supposed to agree to that? Merlin meant everything to him, he was his best friend, but he would be abandoning Camelot. This was his kingdom, his people, they relied on him. "You want me to give my life for his."

"Is that what Emrys has been telling you?" The cailleach let out a laugh that made him shiver. "Imagine that, the king of Camelot giving his life for a warlock."

Arthur felt indignation rise in him. "I'd do it! He's my best friend, you think I wouldn't?" The darkness in her eyes grew, consuming him.

"Oh no, I'm quite sure you would…but that's not the price I'm asking. No one needs to die here."

"Then what?" Arthur eyed her suspiciously. He'd learned early on that if something seemed too good to be true it was usually because it was.

"Your memories…" Her voice was a soft melody. Arthur did a double take.

"Excuse me?" Arthur scrambled to his feet. The cailleach held up a hand, much like she'd done to Merlin only moments before.

"Not all of them, just every memory with Emrys in it. You wanted to give him a chance to live his own life?" She took a step forward shaking her head. "Don't deny it I can see it in your eyes, in the beat of your heart. I can do that. I can go back, turn him away from Camelot. Give him a chance to be free of his obligations to destiny, to you." She paused. "The question is, are you strong enough to let him go?"

Arthur's mind was racing, his tongue was dry. "If he doesn't come to Camelot we'll never meet."

The cailleach shook her head. "None of you will know him, not even you. If you agree this will become but a phantom of what could have been. An alternate reality that will never come to pass." Her fingers curled in on themselves. "It will all belong to me."

Arthur's head was spinning, his thoughts chasing themselves. "I thought you could only trade one life for another…"

The cailleach clicked her tongue. "Do not be deceived. The universe will remain balanced and I'll get my payment, in its own right. You, his destiny, has shaped Emrys more than you can possibly know. And he, in turn, has changed you. If there's anything I've learned it's that nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Emrys understood the old religion on a physical level but I, I see that things go so much deeper than that. Arthur and Merlin as they are now will cease to exist. You don't need to have someone's physical body to have their soul, their essence." The cailleach was whispering now. "And as I see it, I'll be getting two."

Arthur shut his eyes, shivering as indecision and dread ran their fingers down his back. The wind whipping through the trees was clawing at his hair and the night air, as cool as it had been before, was suffocating now.

If he did this, if he agreed to this, it would change everything. All that had transpired in the more than seven years since Merlin had come to Camelot would never happen.

Every laugh, every battle, every victory and every loss. Every time Merlin saved his life. Morgana's betrayal. His marriage to Gwen. The good times and bad times during all of which Merlin had been by his side.

Without Merlin would he still be that same arrogant young man who had thrown knives at his previous servant as he tried to move the practice target?

Would Camelot fall without Merlin?

Most importantly, did any of it matter? Did it even factor in?

Didn't Merlin deserve to be free of the duties that destiny had charged him with? Couldn't Arthur look after himself, find his own way, if it meant that Merlin could live out his life in peace instead of giving every piece of himself to Arthur…Was the king selfish to place such importance on their time spent together, on what destiny had forced Merlin to do, that he would refuse his friend the chance to be happy?

Gaius's voice bounced around and around in his head. _**He wouldn't want it any other way.**_

__Maybe that was because his whole existence centered around Arthur. Maybe…maybe it was because Merlin had never gotten the chance to see who he might have been. What it felt like to be a whole coin all by himself.

Arthur could give him that. Yes, it would be selfish deny him.

Arthur wouldn't even have to worry about the potential loss a Merlinless existence would bring him. Because he wouldn't know him, not if things worked out as they should.

It was the honourable thing to do, it was the kingly thing to do.

What was the saying? Something about how the right path wasn't always the easy one, but that you should take it anyway?

"I'm waiting," said the Cailleach her voice as quiet as before. "It's now, or it's never. He's slipping away."

Arthur's eyes snapped open.

"Do it."

A slow smile spread across the cailleach's face. "It's a deal then." She held out her hand and they shook, just once. Such a small, ordinary thing to mark something so extra ordinary. Silence filled the air between the two, both powerful in their own rights. Finally, Arthur broke it.

"What happens next?"

The world began to spin. The cailleach's eyes sparkled.

"We go back, back to the beginning."

_ While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions – Stephen R. Covey_

_**I'd love to know what you think! I'm really loving putting together this story so I hope that it's as fun to read as it is to write =). **_

_** I shall be back soon with another chapter! It's reading week starting Monday so no school hehe. **_


	5. And Destiny Walks Two Broken Paths

Chapter 5 – And Destiny Walks Two Broken Paths That Were Always Meant To Be One

_** Hi guys! I wanted to first of all say thank you to all of you who have reviewed and/or alerted I owe you everything you all make my day with your support and I can't tell you how much each and every one of your reviews mean to me. I didn't get around to replying to any of them (and for that I'm really really sorry! But I promise I won't make that a habit I just have a ton of midterms and an essay coming up and I'm sort of panicking. **_

_** A note on a scene coming later (you'll know which one) I know the man was beheaded but just go with it I like burning better =). **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, but I wish I did!**_

_You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. – Steve Jobs_

The cailleach smiled, allowing herself a moment of victory as she stared at the unconscious king lying on the ground. How far he'd come. Arthur, it seemed, had found himself in the seven years that Merlin had stood by his side. He'd realised that he wasn't his father, had shown how much Merlin meant to him despite being just a servant. A servant with magic. He had found the balance between head and heart that Uther never could.

The balance that would ensure he would be the greatest king there ever was, the one to unite Albion.

And now, now it was Emrys's turn. They were nearly there, they were so close. Just one last test to pass, one last obstacle.

_**I have faith in you, Emrys. **_She closed her eyes and calmly, dignified, allowed herself to fall through time as the years melted away.

She watched as a clumsy three year old with a huge grin lit a candle with nothing but his mind so his mother could see what she was cooking.

She watched, as an eight year old with these massive blue eyes first realized he was different from the others. That they couldn't get the world to bend to their will like he could.

She watched as an adolescent Emrys slammed his fist into the side of a washbasin then collapsed tears rolling down his cheeks as he asked his mother if he was a monster and she held him tight, whispering no over and over.

She watched his power grow steadily day by day, and with it Hunith's worry at her son's lack of control. The other villagers were slow but they weren't that stupid, they would realise soon and then the boy would be in danger. Some probably already suspected.

Yes, it wouldn't be long now.

On the day that mother and son parted ways, a letter clenched in his fist, the Cailleach set to work. She had a high priestess to visit.

XXXDESTINYXXX

Merlin wasn't watching where he was going, so of course he tripped. Pain shot through his hand but he ignored it, pushing himself up off the ground and out of the dust. He stared at the expanse of forest ahead of him and faltered.

He was at a crossroads, two paths set out before him, one to the left and one to the right. One leading to Camelot and the other…the other he wasn't sure where it might take him.

For a moment, Merlin's curious side wanted to know.

But only for a moment. He remembered his mother's words. Straight to Camelot. Hunith's friend, Gaius, would be expecting him.

He turned towards the path to the left, the path towards Camelot.

Standing there in the middle of it was a woman. Her blonde locks cascaded down her back and she was wearing a dress the colour of blood.

He shivered as she stepped closer and spoke. "Merlin." Her voice was sing song. He froze.

"How do you know my name?" The woman smiled.

"I know oh so much more than that." She kept advancing and Merlin took a step back heart beating fast. "I know you have a great gift." No, no, no! She couldn't…how could she…

"I don't know what you're talking about." It came out slightly breathless as he tried to sidestep around her. "Now if you don't mind–" She grabbed his wrist and roughly turned him around so they were face to face.

"Oh but I think you do." She let a wicked grin spread across her face. "It's alright, you don't have to be afraid. I have magic too." He watched her eyes flash gold. "You can trust me. I'm here to help, to stop you making a terrible mistake."

"Which would be?" His instincts, his whole being, were telling him to make a run for Camelot and never look back. But that curiosity, that damn curiosity, was like a traitor, keeping him still, his feet from moving. She gave a laugh.

"My poor boy, you really have no idea do you? You're heading straight to your death. Magic is outlawed in Camelot, Uther has hunted so many of us down already." She leaned closer, whispering in his ear. "So young, so inexperienced." She brought her hand up and caressed his cheek. "You won't last a week." He tore his hand out of her grasp.

"My mother warned me to be careful." It was said through clenched teeth.

"It won't be enough." Her response was soft. Not venomous, not a taunt, just the simple truth. He found her eyes and tried to stare her down.

"Why do you care?"  
>Her answer was a whisper. "Because you and I are the same. Too many of my kin have died already. I don't want to lose another one." The woman hesitated for a moment then seemed to decide something. "Let me show you the kind of man Uther Pendragon is. Then, you can decide for yourself." Before he could protest she grabbed his hand and the whole world was sent spinning. When it stopped the force of it wrenched them apart and Merlin stumbled. When he'd found his feet again he realised they seemed to be in some sort of dungeon. They were looking in on a young man inside one of the cells.<p>

"Where are we?" Merlin whispered it, not wanting to wake the poor man who appeared to be sleeping.

"The dungeons of Camelot."

"Who is he?"

Her voice was full of sorrow. "Another victim of Uther's war on sorcery. Look at him, does he seem evil to you?"

Merlin felt a pang run through him. The man looked so skinny, so sick. And he was sure that he'd been whipped. Somehow, it was impossible to see anything other than a broken man who didn't deserve to be there.

"We need to help him." She shook her head.

"He's lost, it's already too late." In that moment, Merlin heard the footsteps pounding their way down the stone corridors. He felt panic jolt through him but the high priestess laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, they can't see us." The two watched as the man was dragged roughly from his cell by a couple of guards and made to walk in front of them. He cooperated, seeming too exhausted, too resigned, to do anything else. They prodded him in the back every so often anyway.

When they were alone again the silence ruled until finally Merlin broke it. "Where are they taking him?" He thought he knew but oh gods please let him be wrong.

"Where do you think?" Her voice was soft. She grabbed his hand again and then they were outside in a massive courtyard surrounded by the huge castle rising up around them. There were so many people pressing in, jostling them, all colours and words and blurs of emotion. It would have been incredible if the massive pyre in the middle of the courtyard hadn't taken all of his attention, hadn't made him feel so sick.

"Do you want that to be you?" The question was whispered but it still had him shuttering because it _could_ be him, just as easily as the man they were binding there now. The heat, the pain and tears as they burned the life out of him. The smoke filling his lungs making it impossible to breathe. His life ending knowing that every person watching thought he deserved it, thought him a monster.

No!

He trembled as the king appeared, stepping out onto his balcony, and felt the high priestess tense beside him as Uther began to speak.

Merlin didn't hear a word he was saying, or rather he heard the words but that's all they were-words. They didn't fit together in his mind, didn't make sense. All that did make sense was the torch coming closer and closer to the pyre.

The wood caught, and the man finally screamed. Merlin turned away, closing his eyes.

The sound he heard next would stay with him for the rest of his life. An old woman let out a wail of grief and loss that cut straight to his soul. He looked up to see her stepping forward, glaring at the king though her tears. "There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic, it is you. With your hatred and your ignorance, you killed my son."

Merlin turned towards the high priestess who was studying him. He felt like the lump in his throat grow till it seemed impossible to speak.

"You have two choices." The high priestess held out her hand again. "You can come with me, learn to hone your skills and fight against this injustice, or you can stay." She whispered in his ear. "Stay and watch as thousands more mothers, including your own, lose their sons."

Merlin looked back to the still burning pyre and felt something break inside him. His mother had been wrong, Camelot wasn't where he belonged. Not this place where the very essence of him was feared and persecuted. It wasn't safe. Maybe if he went with the priestess though, just maybe, he could ensure that one day it would be. That at some point he and those like him could embrace who they were instead of having to hide.

Maybe this was meant to be, maybe it was fate that had brought them together. Maybe, just maybe, this was his destiny. To bring magic back to Camelot, to Albion.

He took her outstretched hand in his and they were gone, far away from Camelot and a certain blonde prince.

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

You begin to wonder why you came – How to save a life _The Fray_

_**Thanks so much for reading =) new chapter will be up as soon as possible (hopefully within a week). Until then!**_


	6. Destiny forgotten

Chapter 6 – Destiny forgotten

_**Hi everyone! I know this is shorter than you were hoping for and I'm sorry about that. I promise next chapter I'll make up for it! Life has just been kinda crazy to be honest and I'm also playing with a oneshot that I may or may not post so please don't kill me! I love you all! **_

_** I know I also promised I wouldn't make not replying to reviews a habit but I know I've gone and done it again. Please just know that each and every one makes my day and that all of you alerters and reviewers and readers are the reason I keep writing =). **_

_** Disclaimer: If I owned BBC/Shine's Merlin I would give you all juicy tidbits on what was to come. Alas, no such luck. **_

_ There's a lot of magic between you too, ain't no denying that. And magic makes forgettin' hard.__―__Nicholas Sparks_

Merlin felt the world swirl around him once again until he had no choice but to squeeze his eyes shut tight until it ended. When it stopped, he opened them cautiously, first one and then the other. The blonde woman's face was inches from his and he scrambled backwards confusion making his heart beat fast.

For a second, just a moment, her faced morphed into someone else's. Also blonde, with eyes the colour of the sky. The image was fuzzy and he blinked and it was gone like it had never been there at all.

And maybe it hadn't, maybe his mind was just playing tricks on him. But he felt like he should know that face, and the emptiness it brought instead was like a physical ache.

"Where are we?" He watched the priestess smile out of the corner of his eye as he took in the silence of the forest around them; the thickness of the trees and the depth of the solitude.

"Far from Camelot." The high priestess stepped towards him. "I've come to meet an old friend, someone who will help us. Follow me."

And Merlin did, still trying to slow his racing heart.

XXXARTHUR**MERLINXXX

Arthur Pendragon, prince of Camelot, woke feeling anxious. Not angry or miserable or uncomfortable or even scared (although, of course, he didn't get scared) or any other myriad of emotions for which he might have been able to find an easy fix. No, just an infuriating mixture of boredom, pent up energy that shouldn't have been there after his training yesterday evening, and…what…? He wasn't sure what the third thing was but it ran through his veins tingling as it mixed with his blood and raising the hairs on his arms as it forced him to sit up (or was that the respectable, bootlicking servant by his side whose gaze was properly directed to the ground?).

Something about the fact that the young man's neck was still angled downward while he placed a tray of food in front of him irked Arthur though it shouldn't have. What the young man was doing was right, so why did it feel so wrong? Arthur shook his head trying to make himself feel and thinkproperly again as he started into a sausage.

"Thanks Merlin." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he froze, sausage half way to his mouth, and raised his eyes to meet his servant's green ones. The poor boy was looking a little unsure.

How did you go about correcting the prince of Camelot when he got your name wrong?

You didn't…

"Happy to be of service, sire."

Arthur cleared his throat refusing to let embarrassment turn his cheeks red. The boy was only his manservant, after all. There were too many other, actually important, names to remember.

"You're dismissed; I can dress on my own."

The boy nodded looking slightly shocked and left as fast as he could. Arthur couldn't blame him really. On a normal day he'd never pass up the chance to send him running from hither to high-water and everywhere in between. But today wasn't a normal day, and the sight of those green eyes was making him sick. It was like they were eating into his soul. For some reason, he got the distinct impression that they should have been blue but then he shook it away. That was ridiculous, eyes were eyes and they were the colour they were. He was losing his damn mind. That's probably what Alfred was telling the rest of the servants. '_Three _years working for him and he _still_ can't remember my name'.

Arthur stabbed his sausage in frustration. Alfred! _That _was the boy's name. He bit off a piece of said sausage and started to chew. Where on earth had he gotten Merlin from? It wasn't even close. For goodness sakes he didn't even _know_ anyone named Merlin.

Arthur vehemently ignored how the name sent tingles up his spine, how it seemed to probe spaces in his memory that shouldn't have been empty but were.

As he started on his eggs he put questioning his sanity out of his mind and focused on simpler things, like what he'd be doing that day. 1 – train knights 2 – welcome lady Helen 3 – discuss a certain serving girl with sir Leon 4 – sit in on another of his father's boring to tears council meetings in which Uther mostly ranted about everything nasty magic had done since the _last _council meeting, everyone nodded along, and not much else got done…oh and he'd have to get one of the other servants to make a trip to the seamstress since he'd so rashly sent Alfred away – maybe Guinevere oh she _was lovely _(see number three). He had no idea why, but for some reason he felt a _need _to start wearing neckerchiefs and much to his annoyance he didn't have any.

Maybe some red and some a nice blue-gray. Yes, that was it. But mostly red…

Arthur abandoned his food for the moment and took to rubbing his temples. Did he have one hell of a headache…

"It's like forgetting the words to your favourite song/ You can believe it, you were always singing along/ It was so easy and the words so sweet/ You can't remember, you try to feel the beat." – Regina Spektor

_**So a little lighter than most of what I've written so far but I'm feeling alright about it and like I said, no worries, plot galore coming next time I assure you of this!**_

_**Please let me know what you think! 3**_


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